The first couple of relationships among adolescents is essential to acquiring useful skills and learning in adulthood. Therefore, parents should know how to support them in this new experience and clarify any doubts they may have.
Adolescence is a very confusing stage in which there are physical, emotional, social, intellectual, sexual changes, etc., which, at certain times, generate insecurity in adolescents. During this stage, they are building their identity, consolidating their personality, and experiencing a range of emotions that they may not have felt before or, at least, not with such intensity. Social interactions become essential as they feel that their peers are the people who best understand them.
In turn, within the social life they maintain, the first couple’s relationships take on special relevance. The person chosen as a partner will surely become one of the main sources of support and, hence, the importance of the type of bond and relationship they build and maintain.
Every time couple relationships start at a younger age. That is why, of greater importance, accompany them in this aspect. The construction of effective relationships during adolescence is influenced by various factors related to the social, family, educational, sexual, and cultural spheres.
These first relationships are and will be essential when it comes to acquiring useful skills and learning in adulthood. They will begin to reflect and realize the meaning they give to the concept of a couple, what they expect from the relationship, how they would like it to be, what kind of person they want as a couple, and what it means to have an effective relationship of this type…
Today there is a lot of information and content published in different media and social networks about what “having a partner” encompasses. The information that reaches adolescents is very varied and of all kinds, making it difficult for them, on many occasions, to differentiate what information is truly appropriate and which belongs to a toxic relationship style.
ًRole of mothers and fathers
As mothers and fathers, it is important that we can clarify your doubts. Generating an environment of trust in which they feel free will make it easier for them to talk to us about the world of the couple and sexuality and to ask for help if they perceive that they are creating emotional bonds with whom they do not feel comfortable and from which they do not know how to get out.
What to do when your son tells you he has a partner
There are some keys to how to manage relationships with your teenager:
Talk naturally about it
It will be important to find a quiet moment where you can maintain fluid communication. We must actively listen to what he wants to tell us, maintain an open and assertive attitude, without interrupting him and without judging the decision he has made to start a romantic relationship with another person.
Meet the couple
Sometimes, fathers and mothers do not want to meet their children’s partners because they do not know if it would be appropriate to validate that relationship at home. The truth is that, by being interested in their partners, they will feel more comfortable and trust us more to tell us about aspects of their relationship. In this way, we will be able to meet the couple, find out who they are, how old they are, what school or institute they attend, if they share a social circle or interests, etc. Thus, it is made easier that, in the future, they are more predisposed to talk about how they are living their relationship as a couple.
Do not force to break the courtship
Sometimes, we can think that they are very young or that he is not the right person for them, but it is inappropriate to prohibit an affective relationship without a coherent and weighty justification. If it is consider that there are aspects of the relationship that are “toxic” or alarming, it would be more appropriate to talk about it directly with the adolescent, clarify how he is feeling about the relationship, what he expects from him, and what this relationship brings him; trying to lead to a dialogue in which the adolescent himself manages to verbalize by himself that the relationship is not entirely healthy.
Empathize and talk with them about our experiences as a couple
Showing that we have also been in Young adult relationships and that we understand the stage of changes and emotions that they are experiencing will help them open up to us. And perhaps, certain experiences that mothers and fathers have lived through at that stage can help them manage some situations they are experiencing.
Accept your space and independence
Surely, there will always be a part of your life and your inner world that you do not want to share with your parents. Having your own space is necessary and vital at this stage. Therefore, the task as adults is to accompany them without trying to control their affective relationships.